In which the battle for the RDLP occurs...
Issue #3
To perform this issue's lottery: To be announced by right of conquest!
Digital Warfare: Remix
Prologue:
A war rages on of epic proportion. The Data Nodes, strange cubes who wander the Net assimilating innocent Net Monsters, have set their covetous eyes on another prize: A lone internet magazine article. Alone, the inhabitants hold a candle against the darkness. Viva la Resistance…..
<Hunter Lerris> ::enters wearing a ridiculous uniform:: Heart Guard, attention!
::1021 Netmonsters of mixed rank snap to attention, making a very impressive sound::
<Corporal Pidedis> Heart Guard at attention, sir! Sir, I notice you have a new badge.
<Hunter Lerris> Why, thank you. I just recently was promoted to Hero. However, this isn't the time for congratulations. Our enemy never rests.
<Corporal Pidedis> ::returns to the ranks::
<Hunter Lerris> This, ::holds up a crude drawing:: is your enemy.
::murmurs run through the crowd at the drawing of a gray cube with penciled in fangs, small square mustache, and forked tail::
<Hunter Lerris> Know your enemy! Hate your enemy! Kill your enemy! Los Valdar Cuebiyari!
<mixed voices> Los Valdar Cuebariyari!
<Hunter Lerris> Winterlance and Dragoons, form up! Dir! Joc! Assume command!
<Sergeant Joc> Sir! Heavy infantry unit Dragoon, sound off!
<Lieutenant Dir> Winterlance, at ease!
<LA-258568> Circuit Breakers artillery unit standing by.
<Hunter Lerris> But that's an NMRC squad*!
* In the NMRC, there are 12 different squads. Each Hunter can join one and specialize in a specific Net Monster race. Each has a cool name too. "Circuit Breakers" is the name of the Mech squad. (others include Mystic Force (Mage), Mercury Squad (Slime), and Dragon Slayers (Dragon (go figure…)).
<LA-258568> The men chose it.
<Hunter Lerris> No time for that now. ::sighs:: Good. Stand by to fire. Crimson, are your medics ready?
<Higijuzedi> Crimson squad medics and retrieval standing by!
<Hunter Lerris> Are the Myrddraal in place?
<Corporal Pidedis> Ghost commandos are in place. Berokokuco is with them.
<Hunter Lerris> Then there is nothing to do but wait… Clairvoyance, report!
<Common Mage> No signs of them yet. Who's that behind you?
<Hunter Lerris> Behind me? Wha…..? Who? ::turns around:: Oh.. Hi….. Pidedis, how long have they been here?
<Corporal Pidedis> Since a little before the "This is your enemy" bit, sir.
<Hunter Lerris> Why didn't you tell me?
<Corporal Pidedis> You looked very busy and I don't intend for those Data Nodes to sneak up on us unprepared.
<Hunter Lerris> Oh.. Okay. Welcome RDLP readers. As you can see, things are quite busy here. The war for this page, and perhaps ultimately the newsletter, isn't over yet. We've been training really hard. Special welcome to out Lord High Arch commander Squeaky. HEART GUARD, SALUTE!
<Pidedis> ::raises a questioning eyebrow:: Lord High Arch Commander?
<Hunter Lerris> ::blushes:: So I got a little bit carried away. ::starts muttering:: I'm surprised she didn't chew me out for borrowing Necia's material. Sometimes she's so much like Necia, it's scary. ::resumes talking:: Anyway, since you're here, you're all welcome to front row seats to destruction. Hmm… If the readers are here, that means reinforcements! So, where are those recruits? ::rubs his hands together anxiously::
::silence follows::
<Corporal Pidedis> Umm, sir…. I don't want to be the one to break this to you....
<Hunter Lerris> ::looks crestfallen and sad:: Don't tell me. You don't have to. Our recruitment posters weren't good enough. We didn't list any sign on bonuses. There aren't any recruits. We are abandoned and alone…. ::holds his head in his hands and begins crying::
<Corporal Pidedis> ::comforts Lerris and starts whispering:: Not in front of the men, sir.
<Hunter Lerris> ::dries his eyes and puts on a false smile:: Thanks Pidedis. :sighs:: We're doomed.
<Common mage> Sir! Sir!! Distress fireball from the south! They're coming!
<Hunter Lerris> What?!? The south? HEART GUARD, ABOUT FACE! MEDICS TO THE NORTH SIDE! DATA NODES TO THE SOUTH!!! Darkness! We don't have a prayer.
<Data Node 1> Advancing troops…. Transferring power to holoprojector… Downloading parcel.ppt.. 33% of 35 mb... 94% of 78 kb... declining registration... booting up parcel.ppt.... creating real-time link...
<Visage of Shade^> Greetings, Hunter.
^ Shade is the twerp that started this whole thing. He released all the Net Monsters from the Rift, appointed the bosses, and his evil agenda gave rise to the current NMRC. We're here to kick his evil rear. To do that, I need to gather all the decryption keys to his tower from his bosses. 84 to be exact. Even his visage puts chills down my spine. Must be strong! Phantom mages can probably smell fear.
<Hunter Lerris> Your foulness.. ::grins:: A personal appearance. How flattering. To what do I owe this honor? The latest fall of your 19th boss?
<Visage of Shade> You hunters do me a favor. You separate the weaklings from the strong. None the less, you must be eradicated.
<Hunter Lerris> Alright Shade, let's stop these little games. What is this really all about?
<Visage of Shade> Well, there were those messages on my answering machine back at the tower....
<Hunter Lerris> Are you really that obsessive that or started a war over a few phone messages?
<Visage of Shade> Surely you don't think me that petty. The NMRC, as insignificant as it is, draws attention away from my main objective, which can not be allowed.
<Hunter Lerris> Which would be.....
<Visage of Shade> What kind of fool do you take me for?
<Hunter Lerris> An incompetent one. Especially if you need an entire fleet of Data Nodes to destroy a single newly raised Hero. ::flashes badge with impudence::
<Visage of Shade> All I had to do was mention your name and they were practically begging for the job. Then, I just pointed out your pathetic newsletter.
<Terra'r*> Sir, your coffee is ready.
* Terra'r is a mech mercenary and boss. Shade's new right hand mech.
"<Terra'r> What's in it for me?
<Shade> I won't scatter your bytes across the web.
<Terra'r> ...... deal." Excerpt from Cinema Vault, Act 3.
<Visage of Shade> Terra'r, not now!
<Terra'r> Sir, it will get cold.
<Visage of Shade> Terra'r! Not now!!
<Hunter Lerris> Good help is so hard to find, isn't it, Shade?
<Visage of Shade> ::scowls:: The time for small talk has passed. Now, slayer of Data Nodes, you shall die.
<Hunter Lerris> We'll see about that, Shade.
<Visage of Shade> Indeed we shall. Data Node, you are free to do with him what you will. End trans--
<Data Node 1> Closing link.... Powering down projector.. Uploading warcry.zip to server... unzipping......
<Hunter Lerris> Draw arms! Prepare for battle!
<Pidedis> ::starts whispering again:: Sir, the troops are paralyzed by fear, including several of your officers.
<Hunter Lerris> Quartermaster Nucunujuda! Dip into the larders and increase field rations to premium. We'll need it after the battle. Troops, prepare to receive a charge! Circuit Breakers, ready your weapons! Corporal! Bring me my staff. Thank you, Pidedis. ::twists haft to reveal a thin sword blade:: Together we fight, side by side! Here, we stand or fall together. Los Valdar Cuebiyari! AL ELLISANDE!
<Data Node 1> Opening deutsch791.mp3....
Eins!
Zwei!
Eins! Zwei! Eins! Los!
::forces clash on the electric guitar entrance::
<Hunter Lerris> Now there is a battle cry.
<ED-149787> Pidedis located... Assassination attempt in progress…
ED-149787 attacked Pidedis with Enraged Gusts.
Pidedis attacked ED-149787 with Needle bomb.
<ED-149787> I have failed.....
Pidedis was victorious!
<Hunter Lerris> Circuit Breakers, fire your first volley!
<LA-258568> Semi-Conductor battle group, Death Ray!
::screams of pain rise from the battlefield::
<LA-258568> Resistor group, throw everything you've got against them!
::more screams of pain come from the battlefield::
<Data Node 7> Beginning assimilation of internet species…
<Hunter Lerris> No you don't! ::charges towards Data Node, blade set to slice::
<Data Node 7> Transferring power to Security Node AG-593267… Instructing Security Node to intercept…. Continuing previous actions…
AG-593267 attacked Lerris with Dreamscape!
Lerris is unaffected!
Lerris attacks AG-593267 with staff-blade!
<AG-593267> ::sparks fly from body::
Lerris attacks Data Node with staff blade!
<Data Node 7> Powering up shields.. ::surges with electricity and then falls silent::
<Keda> Wow… Things could go either way now.. All this death and destruction may be unsettling to some of our readers, so I'll try and lead a rousing Q&A section. (Good luck Lerris!)
Q: What is a Net Monster?
A: NetMonsters are cute, digital creatures that make their home within web pages across the Internet. Nobody really knows where they came from, but we do know that at one time, all of them were kept within the White Mask NetMonster Rift. That was, until the evil NetMonster mage Shade helped them escape! Now they're everywhere...
Q: Why do they have such strange names?
A: That's what they call themselves. (Sometimes human names are just as silly!)
Q: What do NetMonsters do?
A: Some are very cute, like the common cat over in the corner. Others however, aren't so cute. Some NetMonsters eat web pages. Others draw mustaches on images. And when you get a busy signal when trying to connect - that's a NetMonster clogging up the phone line. This is why we need to get them all back in the White Mask Monster Rift. It's for everyone's benefit!
<Keda> I hope that helped everyone. Something is about to happen! Pidedis has a flag!
<Pidedis> ::posts black flag with a silver rose on it:: This month's winning combination:
<Data Node 1> Sending message to all functioning Security Nodes…..
Stop that Valkyrie!
<LC-902830> Complying…..
LC-902830 attacks Pidedis with Icy Cold Stare!
Pidedis attacks LC-902830 with Thor's Hammer!
Pidedis was victorious!
<Hunter Lerris> Crimson! Let's get it moving! There's not much time! Pidedis! Keep it up! I'll try and get to the main 'Node! WINTERLANCE! RALLY TO PIDEDIS AT THE HILL!!
KB-764927 attacks Vutam with Searing Wake!
It's not very effective…
KB-764927 was victorious!
Kifex attacks KB-764927 with Psychic Sweep!
KB-764927 attacks Kifex with Karmic Backlash!
Kifex attacks KB-764927 with Psychic Sweep!
KB-764927 attacks Kifex with Searing Wake!
KB-764927 was victorious!
<Common mage> Sir! There are more of them!!
EE-415984 attacks KB-764927 with Alpha Experiment!
EE-415984 was victorious!
<Hunter Eowyn, Rift raider> Valhala's champs, attack! Solminah!
<Valhala's champs> Solminah!!!!
<Hunter Lerris> That's no Data Node! Reinforcements!! Better late than never! ::slays another Security Node, slowly making his way to the main Data Node::
<Pidedis> Finally! A free moment! Like I was saying..
The results for "Guess the Level":
70
62
82
And for "Who's that Netmonster?":
GC-493662 attacks Pidedis with Impetus Bolt!
Pidedis attacks GC-493662 with Shatter Storm!
GC-49362 uses Unstoppable Will!
Pidedis attacks GC-493662 with Thor's Hammer!
It's not very effective…
Pidedis was victorious!
<FE-837291> Launching who.txt….
Common
Wehonuxomu attacks FE-837291 with Jugular Rip!
Wehonuxomu was victorious!
<Pidedis> Element: Common
Combination:
Bug-Rockman-Mech
Cue card:
3x5
<Joc> Did anybody win?
<Pidedis> Here's the list of entries:
<Hunter Lerris> Light! Just one species off! Data Node! You're mine!
<Data Node 1> Transferring power to Security Node AF-000192….
<Hunter Lerris> Something is different about that Security Node.
<Eowyn, Rift raider> Aren't those crystals?**
<Hunter Lerris> It converted a CHAMPION?!?**
** Each Hunter is given a champion crystal to generate a champion from. Up to three other ability crystals can be merged with the generated champion, changing its moves and stats. I would have never thought this possible!
<AF-000192> Your end is near.
<Hunter Lerris> ::grins evilly:: Xukib, I've got a bride for you!
<Xukib> Seriously??
<Hunter Lerris> She's all yours…..
<AF-000192> Never!
AF-000192 attacks Xukib with Angelic Song!
It's not very effective….
<Xukib> Oh! The pain! Sing again, sweet angel!^
^ Xukib is a masochist. Simply put, he enjoys pain. Very scary. No, the line was NOT a pun off of Romeo & Juliet (Act II, scene 2).
<AF-000192> You've got to be kidding! ::starts running::
<Xukib> Wait for me! I haven't been beaten lately! Thrash me! Whip me! Whatever form of torture you desire! Marry me! Please!
<Hunter Lerris> Ah…. Young love is a beautiful thing.
<Data Node 1> Sending order to retreat…… Powering the shields……
<Hunter Lerris> No! Set up the Node Wards!! Myrrdraal, now!! Let's go!
<Corporal Berokocuko> Set those wards! Now, now, now!
<Data Node> Shields will initialize in 45 seconds.
<Hunter Lerris> We have to stop the Data Node from raising its shield mechanism!
To do so, we select various parts of the node. Guess the right combination, and the shields are down. This one HAS to be done if we wish to free our newsletter from them forever! No limit to the number of entries! The regular lottery will still run, as always.
The combination will be 4 of the following, 1 from each grouping:
Shield Sphere
Tracking Sphere
Bio Sphere
Energy Sphere
Coolant Fuse
Fuse Grid
Anti-matter Cable
Navigation Cable
Weapons Cable
Primary Energy Cable
Netmonster Grabber
Processor #1
Processor #2
Processor #3
Processor #4
The future is so bright! The Data Node invasion will soon be over! Send Shield Combos and Lottery Entries to zorro60089@hotmail.com. Prize for the Shield Combo that cracks the 'Node shields.
<Eowyn, Rift raider> And some peace and quiet.